DALLAS (SPINews) -- Excitement is building for the opening today of the George W. Bush Presidential Library on the Southern Methodist University campus here.
"It's not your run-of-the-mill executive museum," says curator Rollo "Little Turdblossom" Fark. "The only book in the library is 'My Pet Goat'."
Special features include:
- The Coalition of the Willing Arcade
- The Axis of Evil Tilt-a-Whirl
- Re-enactions of body cavity searches by the Patriot Actors
- A database of English words introduced by the former leader
- A mountain bike diorama with brush-clearing stations
- A 24-hour cafeteria specializing in Freedom Fries
- Basement try-it-yourself waterboarding tables
- Hurricane Katrina "Good Job, Brownie" Late Responders Monument
- The president's flight suit and "Mission Accomplished" banner
- The date of Cheney's next heart transplant -- A Guessing Game!
- VP Cheney's Undisclosed Location
- Reflecting Pool for Disaffected Liberals
Fark says they are almost ready to open: "We just need to find those WMDs."