SARDONKIA (SPINews) -- In a miracle, a man has returned from the afterlife and complains that Paradise is not all it's cracked up to be.
He's known only as "Phil" and died last month after stepping in front of a stretch limo.
He was reunited with his stunned family yesterday in good shape, although his fingernails needed trimming.
"I led a good life, attended church, was kind to children and small animals and faithful to my wife," he told SPINews. "As promised, I went straight to heaven."
"But I enjoy doing things. There's not much to do up there, except bask in the Glory of The Lord, and play the harp."
How will his life change now that he's back? Says Phil: "This time around, I'm cheating on my taxes."
He adds that The Lord is about as nice a guy as you'd ever want to meet. "I could easily do a semester with him as my roommate. But eternity?
"My wife says I'd drive Him crazy with my snoring."