February 4, 2013
Deep Woods, Michigan
Well, I sure shoved it up Obama’s ass. Me and my troops took a break from shooting otters with Uzis to warn him we won't stand for his Stalin-type terror on guns. This guy is pure evil and a commie to boot.
My buddy Wayne Lapierre promises us a mess of NRA firepower, including AR15s, RPGs and a coupla tanks.
And about my whole draft thing: I woulda served, but I injured an eardrum strumming guitar. Hey, remember, you Democrap libs, we also serve who play the shit out of a Strat.
Finally, I'm reading Keith Richards' book. He doesn't play guitar as good as I do, and does that open tuning shit, but he's a tough sonuvabitch and a guy I'd share a foxhole with even tho he's one of those lefty Brits.