Ms. Kekua, the former Stanford grad, died last month from first a car crash and second, leukemia, and at the time was given a secret burial somewhere between Palo Alto and Honolulu.
A collection of religious leaders led the service in front of a Photoshop shrine of teddy bears, balloons, puppy dogs, candles and bobblehead hula dancers.
Among the clerics was a priest, five ministers, a rabbi, an imam, a Sioux shaman, a Jehovah’s Witness and scientologists Tom Cruise and Karen Black. They praised the young woman for her spiritual contribution to the Fighting Irish and Mr. Te’o for being able to bench press 500 pounds.
Meanwhile, Clint Eastwood, an expert at conducting interviews with imaginary people, has agreed to meet with the late Ms. Kekua to get the story straight.