SARDONIKA (SPINews) -- The Sardonika Policy Institute announced today that all the cool band names have been taken.
"All snatched up," says an SPI spokesman. "It's a tragic development for young rock'n'rollers just starting out today."
Already taken are: Mr. Tooth Decay, The Shaggs, The Plasmatics, The Von Trapp Family Singers, Snot, Phlegm, Funkmaster Flex, Lenny and the Squigtones, Mother's Milk, Horticulture, Fingerbang, Gak, Wang Chung, Preparation H-bomb, Metalicious, Sucking Chest Wound, Male Pattern Baldness, Kazakhstan, Corleone, Dingos ate my Baby, 54 Nude Honeys and Fine Motor Skills.
Many monikers have been claimed by non-musicians hoping to resell them for profit.
SPI elaborates: "It's just like the early internet days when there was a speculative run on domain names. Some guy would register "DonaldTrump.com" and sit back and wait for the mogul to set up his website. Bingo, instant riches."
But there is good news. Soon to be available again: "The Rolling Stones."