ROSWELL, NM (SPINews) -- A strange creature in a space suit fell from the sky Sunday and touched down in Roswell, New Mexico, site of another UFO landing in 1947.
Local authorities were quick to close in on the invader who claimed to be an Austrian daredevil named Felix Baumgartner.
"We're not buying that bullpucky," said Sheriff JIm Valenti. "We've seen enough sci-fi movies to know all about shape-shifters and pod people. This thing makes noises like Arnold Schwarteneggar with a head cold. He's definitely an alien."
Protesting that he had just leaped from a balloon in the stratosphere and parachuted to earth, the spaceman was unable to win over the lawman.
The sheriff tased the creature, bound him in bubble wrap and shipped him off to Area 54 for further study.
PARIS (SPINews) -- Major Fargo Frango, Sardonika’s Chief of Security landed in hot water yesterday when President Ruttles caught him sneaking 15 fashion models into his hotel room.
Frango and Ruttles are here to drum up trade, either fair or unfair, and Ruttles is livid his aide, who is married with four children, has embarrassed himself, the presidency, the nation and parts of Alabama and Saskatchewan.
Frango, fighting back tears, told the president, “I just wanted to hear them speak French.”
Mitt Romney was quick to blame President Obama for the incident while riots -- for no apparent reason -- broke out across the Muslim world.
Meanwhile, France bestowed upon Major Frango the Legion of Honor.