NEW YORK (SPINews) -- Broadway is taking a break from yet another rehash of “Oklahoma” and staging a daring world premier "Dahmer: The Musical!", starring Leonardo di Caprio as charismatic young cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer.
The producers are pulling out all the stops.
His supporting cast is headed by Robert Duvall as Charles Manson, Jim Belushi as John Wayne Gacy, Nicholas Cage as Richard Speck and Meryl Streep as Sharon Tate murderer Patricia Krenwinkel.
Casting the only cloud over the Great White Way is a $15 billion defamation-of-character lawsuit by one Charles Manson.
NEW YORK (SPINews) Even as CBS bleeped out Ted Nugent’s foul-mouthed diatribe on its morning chat show, corporate is so thrilled at the numbers and controversy it’s giving him his own reality show, “Commando!”
Happy Memorial Day.
Nugent will put his muzzleloader where his mouth is and lead a band of superpatriots into the military for basic training then to Afghanistan, Yemen and Somalia to hunt down the top al-Qaida terrorists.
Joining Nugent will be Grover Norquist, Ann Coulter,, Bill O’Reilly, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor, Michelle Bachmann Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Dennis Miller, Rick Santorum, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney.
Mum’s the word at CBS but SPINews has learned that following Episode One, when all of General Nugents would-be troops got deferments (Cheney's 28th) and went AWOL, network execs axed the show.
The Mitt Romney Joke of the Week From a Campaign Stop in Bungalow, Arizona
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon go into a bar and sit down next to a beautiful girl. The girl asks them their views on sex. The Catholic says, “It’s for babies,” the Baptist says, “Praise Jesus!” and the Mormon says, “When I was a young man working for the church over in France, our official missionary position -- ” wait, hold it -- what’s so funny?
ORLANDO (SPINews) -- An unidentified Florida man has been selling firing-range targets of a kid in a hoodie -- Trayvon Martin -- more than happy to cash in on a tragedy.
This follows a Georgia babe who is selling bumper stickers that say, “Don’t Re-Nig 2012”.
And North Carolina voters have just passed a state constitution amendment banning same-sex marriage making it a clean sweep in Dixie.
The Dean of White Studies at Old Testament Tech in Cottonmouth, Miss., praises all three efforts. As he tells SPINews, “Praise, Jesus! We’re taking American back one bullet at a time!”
Meanwhile SPINews has learned Florida’s Target Man is coming with targets with images of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Elton John, Rachel Maddow, Little Richard and the entire cast of “Cats”.
WASHINGTON (SPINews) -- It’s official: Mitt Romney helped bail out Big Auto.
He scoffed at President Obama and told Detroit to drop dead but now he says he actually meant he supported a “controlled bankruptcy.”
The White House is naturally having none of Romney’s political alzheimer’s and says voters are too smart not to remember in November.
Meanwhile SPINews has learned Romney will claim he invented the minivan, ended the Cold War, performed the first heart transplant, was the Navy SEAL who killed Osama bin Laden, and speaks weekly with Jesus.
“And,” he adds, “give me a month in the White House and I’ll cure cancer.”
WASHINGTON (SPINews) -- With Mitt Romney the probable Republican candidate for president, attention is now on the specifics of his proposals. On how he would handle the exploding national debt, SPINews has leanred details of the Romney Plan:
Sell advertising space on the Official Budget
Send drones into to China to destroy our IOU chits
Pimp out Nancy Pelosi
Win money on game shows
Cheat at poker with Switzerland
Skip town and set up the United States on some secret island
Going out of business sale
About his key proposoal, Romney boasts: "I'll strap the debt on top of my Cadillac and release it in Canada."