Boson, a hypothetical sub-atomic particle in physics, has been more reclusive than J.D. Salinger.
The physicist spotted Boson disguised as a female flamenco dancer.
“Higgs,” he pleaded. “You must come with me! Without you we can't explain how the fundamental quantum particles acquired mass after the Big Bang!
Only you can validate the Standard Model! We need you!”
“Piss off," snapped Boson. "I'm busy."
As two burly bodyguards approached, he added, "Besides, I’m hypothetical -- like Santorum winning the election.”