In this month's issue of the prestigious journal:
- In the course of a lifetime, the number of times one inhales is exactly equal to the number of times one exhales. Margin or error: plus or minus one.
- It was not a meteor as previously theorized, but a virulent strain of jock itch that wiped out the dinosaurs.
- E=mc2 throughout the universe, except for most of Texas, Alabama and Mississippi.