From: GOP Supreme Dear Leader Grover Nordquist
To: All Republican Presidential Candidates
Following the photographs of Sister Michele Bachmann and now Brother Rick Perry (above) embarrassing themselves, you will immediately sign the following:
I ____________________________ pledge to refrain from eating, nibbling, sampling, holding, sniffing, handling, licking, fondling, or any other manner touching corndogs.
If caught within a mile of a corndog, or anything that looks remotely like a corndog, including frankfurters, wieners, pigs in a blanket, popsicles or those fried things on a stick, I will be condemned to eternal damnation and worse, ridicule in the left-wing media.