"This is far more insidious than any sleeper cell we've encountered," said DHS spokesman Carl McNutt.
The conspiracy originated in the tenth century, spread to Europe and then to the New World. It lay low, insinuating itself into the fabric of U. S. culture.
"Arabic numerals! Need I say more?" exclaimed McNutt.
"Who knows what force could be released if these digits blow," he added. "Zero, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 were invented by Muslims! "
Retiring National Security Adviser James Jones declared a state of emergency but tried to calm nerves by announcing that the suspect numbers are already being replaced around the nation.
Still, panic raced through Wall Street with the Dow Jones Industrials plummeting to MCXXXII.