One respondent said, "Ruffles? Who the hell is President Ruffles?"
The president has decided to play hardball: "That's it," he snapped. "I'm ending their entitlement program -- as of January 1, citizens are not longer entitled to their own opinion."
Ruttles' Crumpet Party wrung its hands, the opposition Grumps vowed to short-sheet his bed, and the Sardonika Policy Institute, which has enough opinions for everybody, repaired to its think tank and "will reluctantly shoulder the burden."