SARDONIKA (SPINews) -- Hurricane Earl swooped in on the island yesterday, forcing President Ruttles to make several command decisions: He closed the entire island, took a stiff drink then went to bed.
Luckily Earl wimped out and try as he might, could not equal three historic and nasty storms. Hurricane Leona submerged the island for three days, Hurricane Vlad moved it two miles to the east, and Hurricane Harpo hit the country with a night of slapstick.
President Ruttles had no comment, but SPINews did reach Earl who said, "Look I'm not violent by nature. I'd much rather be sitting around playing guitar and singing some old Bob Dylan."
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