“Germs are hiding all over Sardonika,” he said. “They are harboring, and are themselves, weapons of mass destruction. They are out to kill the Sardonikan people.”
The campaign seems to be working. Even ultra-right-wing radio host Crash Gasbag is aboard big time. “This is war,” he announced. “I’m all for spending billions we don’t have on war. Any war, I don’t care.”
Signs are springing up across the island: "You're either with us or you're with the viruses."
Still, there are risks. One aide said, “The hawks are calling for 'Shock and Awe' bombing against all known pathogen hideouts. They want to smoke 'em out of their spider holes," including air-conditioning ducts, the crawl space under Crash Gasbag, iPhone touch screens, the pigeon perch atop President Ruttles' statue, yogurt, bare apartments with one hanging lightbulb, shampoo bottles, clarinet reeds and the buttons on the TV remote.
No plans exist (yet) to detain captive bacteria at Gitmo.