SARDONIKA (SPINews) -- The Sardonika Policy Institute issued the results of an extensive telephone poll of American voters and noted a disturbing decline in pop cultural literacy. Some of its most significant findings:
- The average American can name only five of Tiger Woods’ mistresses.
- Just nine out of 10 citizens watch American Idol religiously, down from 11 out of 10 last year.
- A scant 87% were informed, on an up-to-the-minute basis, of the latest Brad and Angelina rumors.
- To date, only 64% of the population have memorized the lyrics to Lady Gaga’s debut album.
- People magazine subscriptions reach a paltry 200 million American households.
How to account for this slide?
Said one researcher who declined to be named, fearing retribution, “Americans are paying closer attention to national and international political issues.”
According to the poll,
interest in foreign policy matters has tripled to 1.2% of the electorate. Nearly half of that demographic can spell “Iraq” without a “k” and actually do not pronounce it "Eye-RACK".